There are three ways of returning to flow / our true being / harmony / balance when we lose our way. I will illustrate them with an example of a person in balance and out of balance in that category.

#1 Healing

Out of balance:

Hannah thinks the past is in the past and has nothing to do with the present. She lashes out at people and her kids. She doesn’t know why she does the things she does and is very far removed from her life’s purpose.

In balance:

Anastasia owns her emotional reaction. She is okay with what happened in her past and she has integrated her experience. Anastasia takes responsibility for her triggers and heals them. She is aware of what makes her tick, why she gets upset, why she gets angry. She has forgiven her parents, everyone who hurt her and herself.

#2 Taking responsibility

Out of balance:

Dirk goes from one therapist to the next. From one healer to the next seminar. He keeps looking for that one thing that will solve everything in his life. He keeps giving away his power to others. When in reality, he just needs to face that one fear he keeps avoiding by searching for the solution in others.

On the other hand, Jonathan might be overly invested in taking responsibility for everything. He thinks everything is his fault. He strains himself, trying to do better. When things don’t work out, he works harder and gets more and more disappointed in himself, when the solution was a very small fix.

In balance:

The best question to ask a close friend when what you think you want is validation of your victim story, is there something I’m not seeing about my role in this problem?

Kelly Brogan

Ken is always aware of his agency in a situation. He also understands its limits and so he does not take on what is not his. Ken realizes each situation has his input, the input of the time and environment and the input of the other parties. He faces his fears and does the hard thing first. No matter how difficult things get Ken owns his reaction, takes action, says what he wants to say and gives himself the best chance to succeed.

This Dina Marais’ article in Thrive Global walks over some amazing ways to take responsibility for yourself.

#3 Small fix

Out of balance:

Thinking everything is your fault and you can fix anything with your attitude. Sometime a change of environment, equipment, temperature, person and fix everything.

In balance:

Before blaming yourself you scan what quick little fixes you could implement to solve the situation. Solving doesn’t always have to be hard. Allow your brain to reach for the easiest, simplest solution. What is that right now?

Conclusion

See which category your situation falls in. It might be a little bit of all three. It might be two. Don’t get caught up in one, if it’s not solving your situation. Reach out if you need some more help.