What is a pessimist? A pessimist is a person that employs an attitude of pessimism.

“[Pessimism is] an attitude of hopelessness toward life and toward existence, coupled with a vague general opinion that pain and evil predominate in the world. It is derived from the Latin pessimus (“worst”).

Pessimism is the antithesis of optimism, an attitude of general hopefulness, coupled with the view that there is a balance of good and pleasure in the world.” Encyclopedia Britannica.

Wow. Doesn’t that sound horrible?

Many of us are pessimists, especially when it comes to our dreams.

We might think we’re happy-go-lucky people, but when the time comes to put our skills to the test, all that optimism crumbles and is replaced by its grumpy cousin.

The Voice of Pessimism

We know the definition of pessimism, but what does pessimism sound like?

“Don’t even try.”

“Don’t even share.”

“Nobody will care.”

“It’s never going to work, so why put in all that effort?”

“We’re all fucked anyway.”

So why the do we do it?

Why Do We Do It?

Pessimism is a form of protection.

It gives us a sense of false protection. We think that if we go over allllll the bad scenarios in our head before hand we can be more prepared and somehow avoid it.

But the opposite is true. We either attract them or at least drain all of our energy doing it.

Pessimism leads to inaction since we believe deeply that everything will end badly in any case, so why try?

It’s not a form of massive action where you go for success and try to avoid pitfalls, by making backup plans.

No! It’s a mopey, sad mindset.

Why Do We Do It? – Part 2

We do it to avoid being disappointed.

If you don’t try, you can’t fail. Right?

The pain of never really trying is so much more painful though.

Just like the pain of never going for your dreams is greater than the pain of exposing your art and being criticized.

To our small, annoying minds it seems that keeping us safe is better. “It’s better not to expose myself so I don’t get disappointed. It’s better to not share what I realllly think, as to not get into a conflict,” says your mind.

So in the short term, avoidance is great. Just like binging a show or eating a burger.

But in the long term, avoidance causes your soul to wither away.

Have you ever seen those people with the life gone from their eyes? Their hollow sockets and lifeless skin?

Is avoiding your dreams worth it?

As Dr. Aziz says, you should value *the things you’re going after* more than feeling safe. More than feeling unhurt. More than feeling ridiculed.

How I (Think) I Got Here

In 7th grade I thought I was a genius for coming up with this method: have no expectations so then you can’t be disappointed. And I have to give it some credit. With my youthful imagination, my expectations for everyone and everything were *pretty high* so I would be disappointed *a lot.* That’s why this mindset helped in the short run.

However.

In the long term this could not be more detrimental. Because I went from *not expecting anything* to *expecting the worst* to widen that gap of pleasure when that thing I was afraid of didn’t happen.

Expecting the worst all the time wreaks havoc on your nervous system.

You’re always stressed, never satisfied, always looking for more. Never allowing pleasure to fully settle in your body, because you’re always afraid of the next thing.

In other words, pessimism is a form of self-sabotage.

Afraid to Feel

Pessimism is the (fake) art of protecting ourselves from feeling feelings.

Feelings are what kills us. People are more afraid to feel aka live than anything.

This is a whole other topic that I will divulge in a future blog post soon.

Ultimate Truth of Pessimism

The thing to note here is that we think our mind is spewing the ultimate truth. We believe that all the negative things it’s saying are irrefutable.

I vividly remember the moment I realized I was a pessimist.

We were on the plane for the 876th time. Every time before we boarded a plane I would say to my husband: “I have a bad feeling.” He stopped taking me seriously after the 2nd time.

This plane is extremely turbulent. We being shaken left, right, up and down. I turn to him and say, “See I was right! I had a bad feeling this time, but it was different. This is how we die.”

He turns to me and laughs, “Haha Masha, you’re such a pessimist. You say this every time.”

It hit me like lightning. It was like I was diagnosed with cancer. Mental cancer.

Everything made sense. All my failed attempts, anxieties, and over-thinking. It all boiled down to my extremely negative expectations.

Solution to Pessimism

So what can we do about it?

Jump into the abyss of the unexpected and uncontrollable.

In the meantime, implement small, minuscule habits of expecting the positive. Be more positive with your thoughts on a daily basis.

Implement learned optimism.

Smile in the morning and before you go to sleep. Tell yourself how beautiful you are in the mirror. Even if you have to fake it in the beginning. Change a small habit, like getting up without snoozing the alarm.

Implement some pleasure practices. Start a gratitude journal. Identify situations where you can *rewire* you’re brain to expect a different result. A good place to start is sports or business.

If you are a pessimist, you will expect the result to be negative so you will not compete/ present. Challenge yourself to raise your confidence with kind words and positive expectations.

Expansive sense of freedom when you are doing things you never thought were possible for you.

Let life rip you open.

Certainty. The drug. The drug we would *almost* sell our soul for. So many people choose it? Will you?