We are always in a rush. Try to get to the next thing.

Even when we accomplish or experience something amazing, we don’t take the time to savor it.

We’re always going though endless thoughts in our head and we don’t come down into our body to really savor it.

Is there a solution and why does this even happen to us?

Idea

We don’t slow down because we like our sense of control and our Havingness Level is low. As Caroline Eliott, the author of Existantial Kink puts it, “Your havingness level is the amount of raw sensation that you’re able to take in while still remaining centered, present, grounded and responsive.”

Your havingness level determines what you believe you deserve. – Unseenraph

You might be thinking, what does deserving more have to do with slowing down?

Well, my young grasshopper, by going at a hundred miles an hour, we take ourselves out of the present moment. By taking ourselves out of the present moment, we don’t need to feel.

By not needing to feel, we take ourselves away from the things we’ve been avoiding.

Like feeling we aren’t good enough.

The Problem

I’m going to throw you another curveball here. We avoid feeling good. We avoid feeling good because we are not afraid of bad things happening to us. We are afraid good things won’t happen to us.

We are afraid good things won’t happen to us. We believe good things won’t happen to us. Then, we do everything in our power to prove ourselves right.

Because we like feeling right and we love protecting what is familiar. We hold on to the familiar, even if it is a sinking boat dragging us to the bottom of the ocean.

We are familiar with the bad. We are comfortable. But the sparkly, shiny feelings of something new are sometimes just too much. The possibility of a successful new business. The possibility of a new love. Or the possibility of complete health.

We get excited, but we don’t allow ourselves to feel the full power of what it would feel like to have that, because we don’t want to lose it.

But this is where the magic sauce is. To feel and believe like you already have something that you really want.

Curse of Identity

We believe good things won’t happen to us because of identity or *the curse of identity.*

The curse of identity is the limitations we put on ourselves because some things don’t fit the preconceived notion of who we are. “Oh, I just don’t do that.” “My family has never been good at this.” “Everyone is big boned.” “I’ve tried that before and I’ve never succeeded.”

And so we put these limitations on ourselves and actively prevent good things from coming to us.

We block good things because we are terrified that we’ll try to get it and fail.

More bad things happening to us – whatever, used to that. Trying to make good things happen – argh, unfamiliar and uncomfortable.

The Solution

#1 Practice feeling good in small things.

#2 Prove yourself wrong as much as possible and have good things happen where you expect things to go wrong.

#3 Think more positive about yourself.